Giving

I visit a few blogs on a regular basis.  I quite enjoy the links and thoughtful posts at Maggie's Farm.  I don't always agree with the opinions expressed on those pages,  but the topics are thought provoking.  I recall reading a post or two in which one of the contributors discussed charitable giving.  I don't recall the entirety of the post or the details.  I do recall that the author had observed that charitable efforts often went awry; that the relief provided often seemed to be ineffective except as a salve to the consciences of the givers.  The aid is frequently wasted and is often unappreciated.  The effects are temporary.  Lasting changes rarely result.  As I recall the author concluded that one is better off not giving. 

The conclusion did not sit well with me.  I give a fair amount of my resources  away, mostly to my church, but also anonymously to individuals I think might be in need.  On the other hand I have noticed some of the same problems the author of the post identified myself.  I don't think the solution is not to give.  I think the problem rather is taking the time to match the gift to the need.  If one's object is heap glory on one's self, the gift will be public, explicitly associated with the giver and a gift whose value is most widely recognized.  In most cases this means the gift will be monetary; everyone knows the value of a dollar.  This is likely to be true even for gifts of a less public nature.  The gift is still likely to be of a nature easily recognizable to others or in fact to the giver.  I think another motivating factor is ease.  Ease also favors some kind of monetary donation.  It is easier after all to give money than time or thought.  

We can give and avoid these issues, but it takes time, effort and thought.  It also takes a large measure of humility; we must remove our ego and focus on the other person's need. Easy to say; very difficult to do.

I started thinking about this topic last night when at dinner with my wife and some friends we were discussing our children.  The husband of the couple we were with described  an interaction with one of his adult sons.  The father and son had made a deal, the father would pay for rent while the son was away at school, but the son needed to find a way to pay for food.  The son had turned down several job opportunities as being beneath him ("I just don't do that," I believe was the quote).  Now the son had arrived at a point where he did not have any food and wanted his dad to help  him out.  The father described a very difficult conversation in which he told his son that they had a deal and the son needed to figure out what he was going to do.  His son cried, his wife cried and he felt awful, but he also felt that he had done what he needed to.  

Weeks later, his son found a job.  He was happier than he had been before.  His outlook was more positive as he discovered the merits of being able to sustain himself.  What looked very little like a gift and more like a punishment turned out to be an act of charity that might change his son's life.  In that case giving money, which almost everyone would call a charitable gift, would have been no such thing. 

On the other hand we have given money to people of our acquaintance who have been temporarily out of work.  We knew these folks and knew that they were doing all they could to find employment, but simply did not have enough to tide them over until they were able to do so.  I like to think that in such a case giving money was appropriate; the gift helped them in a way that another type of gift could not.

The most valuable gifts we can give are gifts of the first type, that is gifts in which we give our time, talents, energy, knowledge and experience to others.  But that is also why such gifts are rarely given.  It takes time, thought and effort to give those gifts; money is so much easier and recognizable.  The world today needs more giving not less, but it needs more true gifts and fewer gifts of convenience and self congratulation.