My schedule this morning.  Arise read the scriptures and pray with Mari.  Read the scriptures on my own.  Prepare for exercise and exercise.  Recover from exercise shower and eat breakfast.  Clean up the kitchen and wash dishes.  Submit a revised proposed order relating to my last case.  Move laundry from the washer to the dryer and put bed clothes in the washer.  Do a batch of indexing Italian Birth Records.  Move clothes from the dryer to the laundry basket and place bed clothes in the dryer.  Take the bed clothes from the dryer and make bed.  Fold and put away clothes from the laundry basket.

Oh, one other thing: read an essay by an LDS woman about her marriage and family.  Now, that last item actually came earlier in the order of Things I Did Today and was prompted by a long chain of events that began last evening.  Mari and I met an attorney whose name and firm name sounded familiar.  I eventually figured out that a former partner of mine and I had met with a female associate from that firm.  I seemed to recall the woman's name.  This morning in an attempt to tie up what I viewed as a loose end, I googled the woman's name. 

Lo and behold there she was listed as an attorney.  She was no longer at the same firm, but I had confirmed that the night before.  She apparently was, however, a writer based on some of the links I saw.  One link was to an essay.

The point of the essay (aside from some linguistic showing off) seemed to be that after 20 years of marriage she realized she was not the only one in the marriage who had to make accommodations, her husband also made accommodations and she loved him.  She had been well aware of her own sacrifices (how in the world did I end up doing laundry and dishes?  Why does he get to go to work? Why does he have to be such an entrepreneur rather than have a regular job?), but after 20 years it finally occurred to her that perhaps her husband had made what he considered to be accommodations or sacrifices as well. 

Complaints surrounding the domestic tasks she ended up with were not the principal thrust of her essay (as I say that seemed to be "I guess I really do love my husband even though I am involved in this marriage that is not entirely to my liking") but she voiced those complaints nevertheless.  My own domestic activities this morning kept her complaints in my thoughts.

I was reminded of an essay I read a number of years ago by Theodore Dalrymple entitled "How-and How Not- to Love Mankind"  Dalrymple contrasts the lives and attitudes of two different Russians, Ivan Turgenev and Karl Marx, as means of illustrating two different approaches to thinking of mankind.  He illustrates that Turganev thought of mankind as individuals; he loved and cared for individuals and illustrated that concern in his writings.  Marx considered humanity en masse and claimed love for mankind only in undifferentiated masses.

Since my retirement, I have been very domestic (Mari remarked last evening that it was like having her own maid) and yet have not felt restricted, put upon or demeaned.  In my view the work I have done at home benefits my wife and daughters; it makes their lives easier.  To me that's enough.  Now, maybe I can afford that attitude because I have already spent 30 years out in the world "making a difference" and so have already been fulfilled.  Maybe I will feel differently in 3 or 4 years, but I don't think so. 

The reason Dalrymple's essay came to mind is that I think that the two different ways of loving mankind are everywhere in evidence.  Much of the desire to make a mark on the world is rooted in selfishness, wanting to demonstrate how important one is.  It characteristic of  one who views mankind as an undifferentiated mass to be pushed or pulled in certain directions for its own good regardless of how individuals might feel.  If one abhors certain kinds of work because it is not important enough, demeaning and unworthy that's pride and selfishness talking. 

It is also true that one can dislike certain kinds of work simply because it is boring and lacks any sort of mental challenge or is harmful to the person.  That is a differnt matter entirely.  But to want to be out "making a difference" solely for the sake of making such a difference smacks of self agrandizement.